Despite the fact that this has nothing to do with yuri, I got the request to talk about this by a regular visitor of the blog and decided to just do it. Maybe some of you will find it interesting. Though, skip this one if you’re not up for personal stories. 😛
So, let’s begin.
I guess I found out that I might prefer the same gender when I was like 13 or 14. I met a girl online on a forum about the band we both liked back then and started writing emails back and forth. Funnily, she had found me thanks to a super embarrassing and badly written fanfiction I posted on the forum. (Nope, I don’t do this anymore, in case you were wondering: P)
We decided to meet after a very long time of just texting and talking online, and as it turned out, we were both interested in each other, and boom, I got my first girlfriend. Thinking back, it’s funny how this all worked out. My friends had actually always told me I’d never get a boyfriend, since I was (and still am) shy, and I’d rather stay at home than go out and meet people. In the end, I turned out to be the first to get into a relationship, and when I finally told them about it, I got a lot of mixed reactions.
It was on the way back home from watching a movie, and it was basically all my close friends back then. One of them asked me if I had ever been in love before—since I naturally never talked about these kinds of things—and that’s when I came out to my friends. My closest friend at the time didn’t say anything and just stayed silent for the whole ride back, one started crying, another one hugged me, and another one just asked me about sex. It was seriously some weird reactions, and I’d rather they all just hugged me and told me that it’s awesome, but oh well. 😛
It’s a really nerve-racking thing to do, and they all pretty much accepted it, even though, from this point on, I became like the most interesting person to them, getting all kinds of questions about basically anything related to that.
To my family, however, I never really came out like that. I never said it out loud, but it’s like a truth everyone knows, yet I feel like even if no one would ever openly say anything against it, they’d still all rather see me with a guy. Well, I don’t talk that much with my dad, and maybe he was actually pretty happy that I didn’t get with a guy… Well, for “dad” reasons, because they need to protect their daughters and whatnot. My mom on the other hand was really open about it at first, always cooking for my girlfriend and I, and in general being really friendly with her. In fact, she even went as far as whenever my then girlfriend would stay over (it was a long-distance relationship so that wasn’t very often), she would put an unopened box of tissues on my bed, Since, you know… Yeah, anyway…. That happened quite a few times and always made me roll my eyes, but oh well, it was a nice gesture I guess. : P
Maybe they all thought it was just a phase and I would get over it, since they at some point started questioning me about one of my male friends. Like, asking if he had a girlfriend, and my grandma even went as far as basically trying to talk me into liking him, always saying something like: “Oh, he’s so tall and good-looking, and he must have a lot of money.” Because that’s what matters… . 😛
It made me question if they really knew that I’m just not into guys and actually thought I was interested in him since I visited him on the weekend every week. Though, then again, I’m not someone to talk a lot and often about personal things, so how would they know anyway?
In the end, I think my parents were just worried that they wouldn’t get any grandchildren, but luckily, I have a sister and she just got married, so I guess that takes that responsibility away from me. 😀
Oh well, this was not really a coming out story and rather a story about how I feel the people in my environment feel about this unspoken truth, sorry about that. 😛
Though, since I was also asked about how Germany in general views homosexuality, let me just answer this question real quick as well.
Germany is a rather open country when it comes to this. It took a damn long time for gay marriage to become legal – it in fact only happened this year, but it’s been something people had fought for for a while now anyway.
I’m actually living in a village, and, of course, people view this topic a little differently here, but it’s getting better even in these smaller communities (where a lot of older people live). Tolerance is probably the word to use here. Unfortunately, acceptance is still a little further away, in some parts. People will look or more like stare at you if you walk around holding hands with another girl, but they won’t say anything, and I guess it’s just a rare sight in villages anyway. It’s not as much of an issue in bigger cities. Well, of course it makes a difference if it’s two girls or two guys. Unfortunately, the latter still gets different treatment from a lot of people. Then again, I feel like it’s all about weird looks and not about actual confrontations.
In general, though, I feel like Germany is moving very fast in this department – and into the right direction, luckily. We’ve become very open about a lot of things in the past few years, and I hope that it will continue to be this way, since I actually really like living here.
Anyway, if you feel like sharing your own stories, go ahead, I’d be happy to read how it all went for you guys~
Also, feel free to ask questions, if you have any.