On this, your twenty-fifth birthday, what better way for me to celebrate my favorite person in the world than to write an updated version of my 2013 post “Babe Review: Luisa Vogt”? The name of the post is different, so this will be a much more serious look at this very special young woman. I could go back to the very beginning and detail how we met, but since I’ve done that several times already, I want to focus on the here and now.
On the outside looking in, I know it must seem weird. A guy that’s madly in love with a lesbian? That’s Shakespeare levels of tragic, but I don’t look at it like that. Love is love, so regardless of sexual orientation, you’re someone that I couldn’t help falling for. It didn’t happen overnight, yet it was a gradual progression that slowly went from friendship to something much more for me.
It’s hard for me to remember what things were like before I met you a little over four years ago, but all I know is that I enjoy everyday things a lot more now than I did back then, and that’s all thanks to you. Maybe it’s due to having a better understanding of who I am, though, whatever the reason may be, it’s definitely a result of having you as part of my life. If someone can enter your life and open your eyes to some of the world’s wonders, wouldn’t you feel thankful and like you owe that person?
I definitely feel like I do, but how do you go about repaying someone for the priceless gift of happiness? There isn’t a clear answer to that, so for me, it’s about trying to find ways that can express my gratitude to this lovely person, and it helps when you’re in love with that person. Fate has given me the opportunity to share a blog with you, so that’s a great way for me to do my best and spend valuable time with the person that I love. Despite having had a hand in hundreds of blog posts, I still wouldn’t call myself a yuri fan, but because this allows me to spend extra time with you—time that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise—I greatly enjoy it.
^^ I may have shown you that song before, but it’s a song that always reminds me of you, so even if I did, I’ll do it one more time~
You sometimes get upset with me when I question whether our friendship is mostly kept alive due to me being involved with the blog, yet I can’t help but think like that. Ever since we’ve become more friendly all those years ago, I think I expected this to end sooner or later. Like, a pretty good example is your relationship with Mai. A couple of years ago, it seemed like you two were always tweeting to each other and were in constant contact, but now, that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. How would I feel if our friendship turned into something like that? I think that I’ve emotionally invested so much that I would absolutely hate it.
Nothing lasts forever and people change, so I can’t really control how things will play out going forward, yet I just want to cherish every moment I have with you. Even if our relationship will never be exactly what I want it to be, I’m hoping this won’t be one of those friendships where the people eventually drift apart and move on after a certain amount of time. If it were solely up to me, this would be something that lasts a lifetime, but we don’t always get what we want, so I’ll continue to do my best to try and keep this going for as long as I can.
It’s impossible to quantify something like happiness, but at the end of the day, there aren’t many things more valuable than that. The more time I spend with you, it just confirms everything that I believe, and there isn’t anything I’d rather be doing than joining you in anything and everything. You’re someone that I love being around, and regardless of what we’re doing, I’m always loving it, and I can’t get enough. I think I’ve grown a lot as a person since I met you, and I’m not so sure that would’ve happened if you hadn’t been a big part of my life.
As you may have noticed by now, this post sounds like it’s about me more than anything, but you’ve had such a huge effect on my life that it’s really about you. Besides, I could go on and on with an endless series of compliments and you probably still wouldn’t believe any of it. I’m not exactly sure what I said or did to make you think like that, but I hope that you realize that I view you differently than other people do, so even if no one else has told you anything like that, it doesn’t mean that what I’m saying isn’t very much true. Is it really that much of a stretch to think that one person in the entire world can see in you what others don’t? If there is any doubt in your mind about what I say/do, hopefully that will go away some day, and even if it’s only one person who thinks it—and a guy at that—you really are that precious to me.
Every now and then, you get a little upset when I say things like what you want is more important than what I want, but when you love someone, shouldn’t you put their wants and needs ahead of your own? That’s sacrifice, and being halfway around the world, it usually amounts to me doing blog-related things or just things that probably aren’t very important in the grand scheme of things, but things like that still matter a lot to me. More than anything, what I want is for you to be happy, and if that means me doing something so that you don’t have to, it’s always more than worth it to me.
This entire post probably seems like it’s incoherent and like I’m just rambling—and I probably am—so let me start wrapping things up. The main purpose of this was to illustrate what you mean to me, and whether you believe me or not, you really are a beautiful person, and I love you.
Near the end of the Utena movie, there’s a scene in the elevator where Utena finally comes to grips with Touga’s death, and she tells him that he really was her prince. For me, you’ve always been my schatzi, and no matter what life has in store for us, that’s something that I hope you never forget, Ano. 😛
Thank you for everything, Luisa~ ❤